Iraqi rugby player
Jun 13th
Boksburg Wife
Jun 13th
Three Good Reasons why not to use MS Outlook
Mar 24th
Reason 1
Tomato Garden
Mar 20th
an old Italian lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.
His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Vincent,I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Pop,Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Vinnie
At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.
That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Pop,Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
Vinnie
Hotel Bill
Mar 20th
A husband and wife are traveling by car from Cape Town to Musina .
After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they’re too tired to continue and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they check out four hours later, the desk Clerk; hands them a bill for R950.00.
The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it’s a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren’t worth R950.00.
When the clerk tells him R950.00 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use.
“But we didn’t use them,” the man complains.
“Well, they are here, and you could have,” explains the Manager.
He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. “The best entertainers from Jhb, Cape Town, and Dbn perform here,” the Manager says.
“But we didn’t go to any of those shows,” complains the man again.
“Well, we have them, and you could have,” the Manager replies.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentions, the man replies, “But We didn’t use it!”
The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees To pay.
He writes a cheque and gives it to the Manager.
The Manager is surprised when he looks at the cheque . “But sir,” he says, “this cheque is only made out for R250.00.”
“That’s correct,” says the man. “I charged you R700.00 for sleeping with my wife.”
“But I didn’t!” exclaims the Manager.
“Well, too bad,” the man replies. “She was here and you could have.”
Marriage humor
Mar 20th
Wife: ’What are you doing?’
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : ’Nothing…? You’ve been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.’
Husband : ‘I was looking for the expiry date.’
Wife : ‘Do you want dinner?’
Husband : ‘Sure! What are my choices?’
Wife : ‘Yes or no.’
Son: ‘ Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.’
Mom: ‘Well, you have done the right thing.’
Son: ‘But mum, I was sitting on daddy’s lap.’
