Marriage humor

Wife:                ’What are you doing?’
Husband :          Nothing.
Wife :                ’Nothing…?  You’ve been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.’
Husband :         ‘I was looking for the expiry date.’

Wife : ‘Do you want dinner?’
Husband : ‘Sure! What are my choices?’
Wife : ‘Yes or no.’


Son: ‘ Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.’
Mom: ‘Well, you have done the right thing.’
Son: ‘But mum, I was sitting on daddy’s lap.’